Tess, 
Your honey is delicious.
Today I am melting. My hair is wild and salty from our swim yesterday. 
My body hurts from the grieving I don't know how to do. I am really aware of the physically of it all. I feel tired and drugged and dense but there is a sweetness from seeing it is from my emotionality. And a relief that I am feeling it today.
Drinking spring water and eating honey are helping the crystalline flow of my cellular fluids.
I am softening, melting into this deep saddness that is present and real and hidden under all this resentment, anger, resistance and hurt. 
Thankyou for being such a wonderful friend. I am sorry that I am a mess or that I am messy and at times very unaccountable and non present with my emotionality. And yet when I become aware of it I want to banish and hide myself and yet another element is also grateful for the mess of togetherness rather than the prefection of aloneness. I wish you great light & profound gentleness. 
Ah a breath

- a letter I scrawled in pencil for my friend Tess today